November 2011
1 post
thanks, but no thanks, "jennifer rime."
since moving to dc, i’ve been doing my fair share of job searching. i feel that i’ve grown past the age of continuing to be a slave to a cash register at a retail venue, so i’ve been looking for administrative assistant type work.
one month ago:
in an effort to find anything decent to pay the bills, i sent in my resume to a craigslist ad about test proctoring in a location...
July 2011
1 post
i have no idea why people are still using this.
https://plus.google.com/?tab=XX#111211194180254793117/
February 2011
1 post
January 2011
1 post
November 2010
6 posts
yoko x4.
i guess i can go ahead and add the fourth yoko to my family. i thought it was impossible for him to really walk away, but i guess i was wrong.
diamonds really aren’t forever, after all.
ATTENTION
THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE A THING THAT PETE AND I DECIDED TO DO WHEN WE WERE DRUNK LAST NIGHT. WHATEVER.
http://thirstybieber.tumblr.com/
palate expander
people that hate me are like people that hate sushi.
95% of them have never given me a chance to prove how awesome i really am.
bitch plz
“you can either be fat and jolly or a skinny bitch. you pick.”
being a bitch was always easy so at least i’m getting skinny now to make up for it.
BOO-FUCKING-YAH
neutrogena long-last shine control cleanser/mask
best thing since sliced bread. if you’re looking for a great new face wash, i highly recommend this. let me put it this way… i used it yesterday afternoon and i still look like i *just* washed my face. it’s unbelievable. also, it doubles as a mask. pretty neat. neutrogena also offers it in a scrub form. i purchased mine from cvs for roughly 7 dollars. check it out!
this is all that’s getting me through the...
October 2010
7 posts
it's over.
to anyone and everyone, for anything and everything, i’m sorry. i can’t. don’t hate me.
autumn
it was warm last night. i’m talking 65 degrees at 4am warm. as i drove down queens road, i noticed that every single leaf off of every single tree seemed to be falling at once. it looked as if it was snowing, but with a sea of orange leaves. it was absolutely beautiful. and all i could think is that i wanted you there with me to watch it happen.
i should have taken a picture… and i...
PLEASE HELP! →
Hey guys, my best friend Renee is trying to raise money for Make A Wish Foundation. Please help a cancer survivor out to help other kids make their wish come true! Even the smallest donation will make a huge difference!
Please repost! Thanks so much for your support!
http://on.fb.me/baAXbn
i'm goin to jersey city, bitch.
so like, jersey city is a whole new ball game. i learned my way around the upper west side pretty well so that trips up north would be a lot easier. yeah, now i have to learn a new neighborhood and let me tell ya.. it’s kinda creepy. the people that walk the streets here are very angry looking and it’s like being on the set of the sopranos.
i’ve never done the snooki whine so...
Spell your full name without an... →
annoyatron:
totallynotderekhuff:
kalamazu:
definitelynotmoe:
aclkwrkstarfish:
ran-dom-isms:
wordsworthinc:
Via onegirlrambles:
K Pb
Which looks like some kind of element from the periodic chart.
j job That sounds dirty. I like it.
J.
awesome.
Htoph G
That’s it.
h.
seriously.
D HU
TOG BJ
B WOODO (oh for fuck’s sake)
attention all internet users
want to see one of the nigerian faces ripping you off on craigslist?
yeah, you’re welcome. :)
surely you can't be serious.
so as if my week hasn’t been stressful enough already, my phone rang at 1130pm. usually, at this time of night, i don’t look to see who it is before i answer because chances are extremely high that it’s either renee or maggy. for some reason though, i looked at the caller id. and who should call? my ex. yeah. apparently a friend of his had him go to the gwar show at amos’...
September 2010
2 posts
whatever. i'm bored.
A - Age: a mere twenty three. B - Bed size: right now, full. my queen bed is at my mom’s house. C - Chore you hate: paying bills. does that count? D - Don’t eat: i’m not picky about food at all. but i’m not a fan of ketchup, bell peppers, and octopus sushi. E - Essential start your day item: walking the dog. F - Favorite board game: life. G - Gold or Silver: silver. H - Height:...
fucking feelings.
i’ve never really allowed myself to feel anything. when someone makes me mad, i talk a big game about how i’m tough and how nothing bothers me. when someone makes me sad, i drink it away until i’m numb and can’t put one foot in front of the other. when life hands me lemons, i reach for my bottle of klonopin so i can just go back to being numb and asleep.
for the first...
February 2010
3 posts
"gettin with the woodsons"
me: why are you checked in at my mom's house on foursquare?
ian: actually me and your mom... well you can just call me dad. you know how i like making out with the woodsons.
me: would that make your brother my uncle?
ian: your uncle in law i suppose
me: can i still do him?
ian: if you want to have sex with your uncle. i'm gonna make a reality show called "gettin with the woodsons"
me: this whole you hooking up with my mom thing is not okay because you are salting my game with that brother of yours.
ian: it's also not going to stop my hooking up with your brother
me: speaking of brothers, how is yours? is he still hot?
ian: actually no. he came down with a touch of downs. one minute he was fine the next his cheeks swelled and he had an insatiable need for hugs
me: i'm sad that he's not hot anymore. i like hugs though.
January 2010
2 posts
lawl
me: hey, what would you do if a girl said "hey i'm gonna put on my pocahontas costume. meet me in the bedroom."
@shamelessplug: i'd meet her in the bedroom... and then i'd MEAT her in the bedroom!
oh, voicemail.
hey brah, not even calling to see how you are because i don’t even give a shit. just calling to see why you’re telling people that i’m all up in your kool-aid without knowing the flavor because you know it’s clearly the other way around.
i win at being drunk.
December 2009
6 posts
why did tisbury lane have to play on rhythmbox?
i am a mess.
this is the last time i shuffle all songs past 2am.
some people just don't fucking get it.
note: this party doesn't exist. i only told him i was going to a party to avoid him showing up at jack's. also, when someone doesn't realize why it's inappropriate for them to go to a party they aren't invited to, you might as well have some fun with them.
rob: what u doig for new years
becca: going to a party i think
becca: you?
rob: not quite sure yet
rob: weighing my options lol
rob: did u see avatar
becca: no but i did see sherlock holmes
rob: how was that
rob: i saw avatar in 3d last night
becca: word
becca: sherlock was good
becca: rdj was hot as always
rob: avatar wasnt as good in 3d as what i thought lol
rob: wheres ths party ur going to
becca: southpark
rob: can i stop by n make an appearance lol
becca: what?
becca: it's not my party
rob: theres prolly gna be a lot of random people there dont u think
becca: um, dates of people that are going
becca: and i'm already bringing someone with me
rob: oh straight
rob: nice touch
becca: what
rob: so the party is just for dates
becca: i mean, i don't know if it is or isn't, but i wasn't really told that i could bring a bunch of people
becca: i was told that if i wanted to bring a date that i could
rob: oh ok
rob: itd just be me that was goig to come
becca: okay? (NOTE: I MEANT THIS AS "OKAY, SO WHAT?" BUT NOW THE FUN STARTS)
rob: nice
becca: yep
rob: is this gna be a big party
becca: as far as i know, yeah.
rob: nice
becca: maybe you can hook up with someone
rob: thatd be straight
rob: lol
becca: LOL
rob: i havent gotten laid in a hot sec
becca: OMG REALLY?
rob: yeah
rob: really
becca: that sux
rob: maybe new years eve haha
becca: YA TOTALLY
rob: maybe i can hook up with 3 or 4 girls haha
becca: OMG THAT'D BE SO SWEET
rob: im sure once they see my audi they'll all wana get down in that haha
becca: YA SRSLY
becca: BACK SEAT WINDOWS UP
rob: helllll yeeeaaa
becca: well, i gotta go. i'll see you in a few days though!
rob: whats ur number
becca: 704-TIT-OMGZ
rob: haha
rob: fo real lol
becca: i am for real
becca: or "fo real"
rob: is it 704 315 **** (don't wanna be blasting my real number on the interwebs, sorry)
becca: no.
becca: it's 704-TIT-OMGZ
becca: we already went over this.
rob: wtf
rob: haha
becca: deuces!
rob: well then call me so i can see what it is
rob: lol
becca: don't have your #, bye!
gayphone
becca: i'm having a very difficult time with my phone
chris: maybe it's because it knows it's christmas
chris: and it's like LOLJK
being broke is no joke.
i hate actually writing this out. until march of this year i had a pretty decent job, made enough money to keep my finances in order. i was laid off, receiving a severance package of eight paid weeks. i wasn’t complaining, as a lot of people i knew that were in the same situation at other companies only got a couple of weeks’ pay. my severance ended in may, and i’d hoped i would...
October 2009
5 posts
this is why chris is one of my favorite people in...
i have no words.
Becca: i got slammed at work tonight while i was by myself
Chris: wow that's kind of slutty
why i love mr. chaos:
matt: so what are you up to
becca: living the dream
matt: well im glad yer happy now :-)
becca: :)
becca: thanks brah
matt: no prob, "sister squirrel"
becca: hahaha
September 2009
4 posts
i don't have time for a man without a data plan.
I must first say that this is NOT Jared W. Smith. This is some creep that I drunkenly gave my number to at Jack’s one night last weekend. Anyway, enjoy.
1:43am
Jared: Whats up? Me: At the bar. You? Jared: At a bar. where r u? Me: Jack’s. Jared: Havn fun? partyin? wanna hang? Me: I gotta drive someone home and hang out with them for a bit. But yeah, havin fun. Jared: K have a good...
August 2009
10 posts
this is sad.
(08:45:44 PM) chris: I am currently eating the best pizza ever (08:46:05 PM) chris: this is almost like sex (08:46:06 PM) chris: ALMOST (08:46:27 PM) becca: clearly you have not had sex in a while.
“If we all took media messages at their absolute face value, we’d all be...”
– Chuck Klosterman
tumblr tumblr tumblr
so i decided it was finally time to start using this thing.
word.